What You REALLY Need for Baby’s First Two Years: The First Month

There are thousands of products for babies out there. From the completely essential clothing to newborn shoes, there are so many things you do and don’t need.

I had an October baby, so she was pretty little when it got cold.

Here’s the short list: Bassinet or Pack ‘n’ Play, crib, crib mattress & sheets, a couple of bottles, newborn formula, breast pump, nursing bra, appropriately-sized diapers, wipes, a Boppy or other nursing pillow, a cheap bottle warmer, one or two pacifiers, diaper rash cream, a car seat, a handful of onesies, a few sleep-n-plays with feet, and a few flannel receiving blankets.

If you are like me, you will want Baby to sleep next to you. Hence the bassinet on this list. I found that the smaller bassinet fit my requirements much better than the Pack ‘n’ Play, because it was a lot easier to move in a hurry. I did use the Pack ‘n’ Play – in the living room. I did look at the cosleepers available, and they weren’t very sturdy in my opinion. However, you will probably not need the Pack ‘n’ Play with the combination napper/changer attachment. I never used it.

As for crib mattress, go for the firmest one you can find. But you don’t need to spend $300 on the mattress. Ours cost $40. Forget crib bumpers – they’re dangerous – and the breathable ones are cute but you can’t see through them, and frankly, by the time the child is old enough to need them, they will use them to climb out. Jersey sheets are awesome and forgiving. I do have a couple of waterproof pads, but I have mostly used them to keep dog-mud off the futon in the baby’s room.

Receiving blankets are extremely useful – as burp cloths, to swaddle the baby, or as a protective barrier when changing them on a surface such as your bed or sofa.

Diapers. I wanted to cloth-diaper my daughter. My hubby wasn’t so enamored of the idea. We compromised and I said I’d cloth-diaper her at home, and disposable-diaper her elsewhere. Yeah, right. They put her in Pampers Swaddlers in the hospital… And I still like those best. Even the pre-folded cloth diapers are hard to put on a wiggly baby. They have those with inserts and snaps… They’re cute but inconvenient. I think my daughter wore cloth diapers about 4 times, and she’s 18 months old now.

Wipes are essential. Go for cheap unscented ones. My favorites are the Kroger brand with vitamin E and aloe. Bonus, they can help soothe those postpartum hemorrhoids. And take off makeup. And clean little hands and faces. And cleaning diaper rash ointment off your fingers. Which, by the way, I tried several brands… And I love Desitin for minor rash, and Resinol for the bad stuff. My daughter now calls Resinol “packo” – spackle, as it has the consistency of wall patching compound.

Feeding paraphernalia. I was a rabid “I’m only going to breast feed” Mama. Till I couldn’t do it. I could not get my daughter to latch properly. She didn’t get a pacifier or bottle in the hospital. It hurt really bad. I felt really awful. Day 4, she flat refused (and I later realized it was the shellfish chowder my hubby made for dinner the day we came home). I bawled my eyes out as my Mom fed her 2 ounces of formula and I pumped for an hour and got – about a half an ounce. I still tried to nurse. Sometimes it went better than others, but many times she got pumped breast milk in a bottle, or that mixed with formula. (Later, things got better – you’ll read why.)

So basically, if you’re going to breast feed, you will likely still need bottles and a pump. And having formula on hand for emergencies won’t hurt your baby. And if you can’t breast feed after all, you’re NOT a failure! I was mostly bottle fed, and my daughter ended up getting a combination till she was a year old. She’s very healthy, very intelligent and very happy. (If you’re not breastfeeding, you obviously won’t need the pump.) The cheap bottle warmer was very helpful, as I didn’t have to go upstairs in the middle of the night. Mine cost about $10 and was worth about $500 in convenience.

I didn’t want a nursing bra. I ended up needing one, finding one I adored, and was comfortable. So comfortable, in fact, that I recently bought a couple more – even though I’ll never be nursing again – because I now hate my old bras. Mine aren’t fancy or expensive – they’re 2 for $16 at Wal-Mart. PS: I despise underwire.

The Boppy pillow took a bit of getting used to, but I found I was able to nurse while playing Solitaire or FarmVille. Typing was possible, though not easy. Or I could just kick back – and her weight stayed off my healing C-Section incision. I also could snug her in it while I did things like folding laundry or getting dressed, and she could watch or nap. (She has now claimed it as her relaxing pillow, so I probably will never get rid of it.)

One or two pacifiers are very helpful. Some babies have a more pronounced need to suck, and these do the trick. Call ‘em what you want, they’re lovely bits of plastic.

Onesies and sleep-n-plays with feet will be your friends. You see, if it is warm, the onesie is all you need – covers them shoulders to butt. And sleep-n-plays allow them to lounge around all day and keep warm. You can have cotton ones, terry cloth, and fleece (probably other fabrics as well). We had one I used for outings that was really fluffy fleece; and the others went from crib to car seat to sitter or wherever nicely. And remember: your child does not care if they’re “cute” or in their “favorite color” (which is really YOURS), or if they have ruffles and lace (unless they’re uncomfortable).

A car seat. Get a good one. My recommendation is Graco or Evenflo. Get the kind with a base to make your life easier – and get at least one extra base for the grandparents or Daddy.

Lastly, something I did not get until my 6-week checkup but could be a life saver. Please don’t dismiss Postpartum Depression as “the baby blues”. If it lasts more than a few days to a week, get help. Antidepressants might sound awful, but when Mommy feels better, baby feels better. And, frankly, the minute risk of my daughter ingesting a small amount of antidepressant was a far better outcome than a suicidal/homicidal mother. I waited too long to get help – I should have done something at 2 weeks – but luckily everything turned out fine. And breastfeeding magically got a LOT easier that very first night.

What I didn’t need: a swing, a wipe warmer, a glider, a nursing stool, and a lot of “when I had babies” type advice.

Potty Training? Already?

Today was my daughter’s 18-month checkup. No shots this time, just measurements and the doc looking at ears and teeth, and asking Mommy a lot of questions. Her head circumference, weight and height are all good. She has seasonal allergies. Teeth look great. And she’s a very happy child. (I did mention that that’s true, until it isn’t…) She got her autism screening, and it doesn’t seem that will be an issue. But apparently Mommy’s answers put her in the category of slightly advanced. The doc suggested we get her a training potty and put it in the bathroom, so my Meggie could get used to it as “furniture”.

I’m not sure how I feel about this. On the one hand, the thought of getting her out of diapers is just awesome! I could definitely use the room in her bedroom currently being taken up by her changing table. Diapers are expensive and storing them takes up closet real estate. You have to carry them everywhere (I even have an emergency diaper kit in my purse).

On the other hand – this is my baby we’re talking about. My youngest. Once she is out of diapers, I will never change one for my own child again. We have a ritual – I announce it’s time for a didy change, then I chase her around the living room. She runs down the hall, I sweep her up, and then she helps me get pants off. We decide together whether she needs powder or not (if she has a rash, daytime is Desitin and nighttime is “spackle” (Resinol); if not, sometimes I’ll ask if she wants powder – always yes). She wiggles and gets up, but when I finally wrestle that diaper on, I get a huge hug.

I look forward to not having to wipe really pungent slimy stuff off her butt and out of other nooks and crannies. But I know that during potty training, and for a while after, I’ll still have to help her wipe properly.

I can’t wait till she tells me she has to go pee or poo, and goes and does it instead of pooping in the bathtub. I would love to get rid of the Diaper Genie and have a real trash can in her room. Then again, the one we have is hidden in the closet to keep her out of it!

I can’t wait to go to the store and buy a bunch of gold and silver stars for her potty calendar. But along with that comes the nostalgia of my own calendar as a small child. My clearest memory is of being sick, and I got an extra star one night for not only not wetting the bed, but when I threw up, I missed the carpet entirely (this was before carpet cleaners were a household appliance).

And once she’s daytime potty trained, we’ll have to start with nighttime… Which will mean the crib converts to a toddler bed. I’m not sure I’m ready for that, either. I’m only now considering getting rid of her pacifier. I weaned her off bottles within about a month after I weaned her off nursing, by just not giving her one. But this… This is another milestone I’m looking at with a mixture of anticipation and dread.