Merry Drama-Free Politically Incorrect but Informed Christmas

It seems like everything has to be a drama-filled controversy anymore.

Well, I have thought about a lot of these things, and I’m not exactly politically correct on any of my beliefs. But I’ve been able to reconcile a lot of things in my heart by reflecting on them.

When I was a child – a tween, to be exact – I informed my science teacher, who was a nun, that clearly the Big Bang Theory and Creation were not mutually exclusive. Here’s why: Any “expenditure” of energy causes a change. For instance, flip a light switch on in a silent room, and you can hear the light coming on. A little popping noise. Now extrapolate that sound to the magnitude of “flipping a switch” on the sun. “And God said, ‘Let there be light’!”… And there was a BIG BANG.

Science points to Evolution, as well… But again, Evolution and Creation are not mutually exclusive. The Bible states that God created the world in six days, and on the seventh, He rested. Well, if you read further in, many of the people in it lived hundreds of years. Noah was around 600 when the Flood came. In fact, his first child was born when he was 500 – compare that to now, when most men who have children have their first child before age 40… And don’t live past 100. This points to God’s timeline being rather fluid, and not rigidly tied to our current seconds, minutes, hours, days… So the seven days it took God to create the world could translate to eons in our understanding. We see pictures of Adam and Eve as modern humans, but we really don’t know – they could have been apelike.

Modern Catholicism (and, for that matter, Christianity) point to Jesus Christ being medium brunette with white or tanned skin. This isn’t very likely, considering where he was born and raised. He was a Jew, and he was born near Nazareth, and raised in Galilee. He was very probably olive-skinned and had very dark hair.

We also celebrate Christmas in December, just after the Winter Solstice. Well, Jesus Christ’s birthday is more liable to be in September. Christianity needed to perpetuate itself, and the best time to get this across to Pagans would be near one of their big celebrations. Samhain, which we now know as Halloween, was the closest to Christ’s actual birth; but it was a celebration of death. No good. Next? Ahhh, Yule. Okay, that’s a celebration and sacrifice for good things to come. Sounds like a winner! (And Easter is near Beltane, a fertility – or rebirth – festival.)

Well, now we’ve come to Christmas. Currently there is a huge debate over what color Santa Claus is. Umm. Let’s see… The original was Saint Nicholas, who was, like Jesus Christ, Mediterranean (Greek to be precise). He wasn’t fat. He didn’t wear fur (for goodness’ sake, have you seen the weather in Greece?) But he was benevolent… Then there’s Sinterklaas of the Netherlands and Belgium; and Father Christmas, in England, who (again, check the weather) wore fur.

Clement Clarke Moore began the tradition of the modern Santa in 1823, with his description of “a right jolly old elf” in his poem “A Visit from St. Nicholas”. Later, Thomas Nast immortalized Santa Claus in 1863 in Harper’s Weekly Magazine, though there he was wearing an American Flag. And in the 1930s, the Coca-Cola company used our present “ideal” as a marketing gimmick for soda pop.

All of this just points to Santa Claus being derived from so many different races and ethnicities, he’s a mutt. That, and, well, in my heart, Santa does exist – but not as a human being. Santa is a feeling.

The whole idea of giving gifts also goes right back to the birth of Jesus Christ. The three wise men, or magi, brought gifts to the baby. Gold – to represent his status as King; frankincense is a perfume, to signify his status as a priest and prophet; and myrrh is an anointing oil – used in embalming. How macabre! But now, we give one another gifts as a reminder. And if you subscribe to the Christian beliefs, God gave us his Son, as a Gift.

So I’m not politically correct, but I have some pretty varied beliefs. No matter what else, I have to say… Merry Christmas to you, and yours. I wish for you love, and peace, and joy!

Happy Halloween!

October 31, 2003: A good-looking young man came by my office. I was unable to speak with him, but he left a bag of Baby Ruth candy and his phone number on my desk.

I was floored, and excited. So, that evening I paid rent and then went home and called him. He had to call me back as he was picking up his kids. But then he did, and asked if I liked haunted houses.

For the record – no, I don’t. Not at all. Still don’t. But this guy was SO good looking! OMG! So I agreed to go – with him and his kids.

I still remember what he was wearing – jeans and a T-shirt with the 9/11 postage stamp on it. We got lost getting there – it was at the Clark County Fairgrounds. The little girl hung onto me the entire way through. The little boy sat on his Daddy’s shoulders and screamed a lot, then when we were through, begged to go again!

For me… That was the beginning of the end. I could not look at another man again. Here’s to 10 years, Quentin, love of my life! And to decades and decades more!

…And that little boy? Is 15 now and was voted Best Scarer at the Dayton Scream Park. I guess he did get to go again!